It's Sad How Corrupt Huntsville Utilities Is!!!

A little local issue has come to my attention and I feel a need to rant about it. This issue is with Huntsville Utilities.  Huntsville Utilities needs some work. Their customer service is SERIOUSLY lacking.

Here is some interesting little things I learned about Huntsville Utilities.

(Mind you, I do not claim to be a very intelligent person. But if I noticed how ridiculous this is why isn't everyone else seeing it as well and why isn't anyone DOING anything about it?!)

So..first...a little confession..I was late on my bill. Okay, I admitted it.  I'm not particularly proud of it in ANY way but it happened.  I have the world's worst memory.  I didn't write it down.  I got caught up in life like sometimes happens to people and well...I just forgot and it's done and there's nothing I can do about it now. But it caused this problem to be brought to my attention.

For those who live in Huntsville did you know that if you are late on your bill, instead of like it was in the old days when they sent you a late notice and maybe charged a late fee, they send someone to your house now? Not only do they send someone out (often more than once) to place a lovely little note on your door reminding you that you are late BUT they also charge you $40 for each trip! Not to mention they don't send someone out and then a few weeks later send someone again if it's not paid. Nope, they send someone out and then just a day or so later send someone AGAIN.

 I contacted them letting them know that I had two $40 charges on my account for a "trip fee". Which I had absolutely no idea what that even was to be honest. I was told by the ever so sweet (that's sarcasm...the girl wasn't rude but she pretty much told me that was the way it is and I could just get over it because there was nothing I could do about it. I'M NOT KIDDING! She seriously insinuated that was how it is and asking for it to be reviewed was a waste of time.) I never received these two lovely little $40 door hangers.  Believe me if I did receive them I wouldn't stoop so low as to publicly announce that I had forgotten to pay my bill.  I would hang my head in embarrassment, like anyone with sense would do, and sheepishly hurry off to pay my bill.  I told her that I never received my personally delivered late notice and she informed me that they have tattlers on their trucks and she knew exactly what time the utility personnel was out there.  Well,...that's fine and dandy that you know he was there what my question is, "Where is the proof that he gave me my $40 hanger?"  For that price I should have it framed or something. For that matter, for that price I should have to have signed off on it or something right?  I mean I have to sign off for FedEx to drop off a $3 Mickey Mouse sticker for my car. All joking aside though, how does this even make any sense?! How is this practice actually practical or economical for Huntsville Utilities and it's clientele in any way?

It was my understanding that a piece of paper, some ink, a stamp, and an envelope all still cost under $2. They have machines that fold and seal the bills so I assume no additional employees would be needed for that lovely little job. So Huntsville Utilities is saying that it costs $40 to send someone to my home to "leave" a note on my door and that THAT is a more practical, economical, and ecologically sound idea than to..oh, say...mail me a late notice?!   Save the trees! Use up that ever so free-flowing fossil fuel!!! If you can even call that saving the trees. Maybe if they left the cute little color leaflet they put in with every bill they send me, informing me to friend them on Facebook and of what an awesome company they are, out they just might would be able to send that late notice without any new expenses to add to their FOREVER messed up expense reports or my own personal bill.

Why don't we have an opt out choice for this anyway? I read up on the BBB and it seems that most people who have had utility employees come out to their home felt they were being harassed instead of "helped". I personally never saw anyone.  Maybe this is why I never got my hanger.  Maybe you have to be home to get solid proof of a visit.  I don't know.  If I had received that first visit though and if I had been informed they charge $40 to come out I would ask the employee not to come again. I can't afford $80 for two visits.  I don't know anyone who can. Those who don't pay because they just can't afford it wouldn't have ANOTHER $40 anyway. This was not the case for me. I could have paid my bill. I just forgot about it and never got that first little hanger notice. If I had gotten it, common sense would tell anyone that a mad sprint would be underway to avoid any more unnecessary charges. But, apparently, Huntsville Utilities can charge people for a service that they cannot verify they provided other than to say the vehicle stopped at said person's home. Personally, I want to see the carbon-copy of the notice he placed on my door.  Then I would be grudgingly satisfied with the FIRST charge.  But they can't provide me with that, yet I'm expected to pay for it. 

Two visits is just ridiculous and is extortion-ism.

On their website Huntsville Utilities states the following, "Due to our common goal of outstanding customer service and cost savings, Huntsville Utilities has also worked with most of the Madison County Water Systems, the City and County Sanitation Departments and the City Water Pollution Control Department to provide our customers with a single bill each month. By sharing in this billing, we all save on postage, paper, payroll, benefits, computers, vehicles and insurance while giving the customer the convenience of one stop service and a single monthly bill. As a “Public Utility” we answer only to the people we serve. Decisions are not influenced by the effects on our stock prices, but are based on what is best for our customers."

Phfew!!! I'm so glad that by only sending one little piece of paper you are able to save the City and County SOOO much money. (Don't get me wrong. I'm all for EVERYONE saving money.  Even the government.) But like I said before, gas, vehicles, employees, OH, and that PAPER door hanger that's all cheap right?

Let's also look at other businesses. You are allowed to opt-out of the $25 or so over-draft privilege at most banks. Huntsville Utilities is claiming this "trip fee" is a privilege. Shouldn't it be the same? Shouldn't customers be allowed to opt out? And what happened to old fashioned late fees? Even doctors offices somehow manage to afford to do that. Usually they send MULTIPLE LETTERS before going to collections. Late fees I've seen spoken of usually ranged between $10 and $25 at the MOST. I've heard of doctor's offices and credit cards going nearly a year before going to collections too. No late fees for Huntsville Utilities.  They'll just charge you $40 per reminder and go straight to cutting you off and stiffing you with that $95 reconnection fee. Huntsville Utilities has combined their bill, late notice, and letter of disconnect into one lovely very customer-friendly piece also... No joke.... The FIRST bill they send you, your monthly bill states very clearly on it, "***FINAL NOTICE***...This is to notify you that it may be necessary to discontinue your utility service as of (blah blah date) unless prompt payment of this invoice...is made before this date." And it ends with "No further notice will be provided." In lovely bold lettering. Wow! If I had any other choice this bill alone would inform me this company doesn't give a squat about even being polite! Given a choice I'd take my business elsewhere! Alas, Huntsville Utilities like so many other areas is a monopoly and somehow in this context I'm assuming that it's legal. Regardless, it's the way it is. 

Oh, and did I fail to mention the bill they send lists your cut-off date as less than a week after the due date listed.  This month's bill for me lists the cut-off date as only 4 days after it is due.  Way to really show you care with that grace period Huntsville Utilities!!!

It's a sad sad world when companies, or people for that matter, see it as just and acceptable to behave this way.  They claim to care but I just don't see it. It makes me sad and very angry.  I wish someone would do something about all this.  It's just wrong...why don't more people see it.  Why won't someone who CAN do something speak up and do it?

SpongeBob & Patrick Cake

For my son's 1st birthday I decided to go completely crazy throw my munchkin a really nice party.  I mean you only have a first birthday party once, right?!?!  Anyway, when making my son's cake it occurred to me that there might be others out there who would like to have a bit of an overly detailed step-by-step guide on how to do it as well!

Here are pictures of the finished SpongeBob Cake  and a Patrick Star smash cake:

 

 

Would you believe at one time both these cakes were this:

 

 

 

Yep!  A lovely but standard half sheet cake from the local grocery store.  I prefer to use pre-made cakes for the following reasons:

• Those girls who can do it all DON'T EXIST!!!  Either they take shortcuts you don't know about or they NEVER sleep.  (I enjoy my sleep!)
• I HATE doing dishes but I love cooking & baking (go figure) this saves like...at least 2 bowls, two cake pans, and probably ten dropped two spoons.
• It saves SOO much time!  No baking needed!  Just make or buy your fondant and get started decorating!  So, anyway, let's get started!!!

 

You will need:

 

• 1- sheet cake (home-made or store bought)
• 1-dowel cut into 4- roughly 6 in. pieces and 1- 4 in. piece (5 total)
• marshmallow fondant-either two Wilton boxes of white or 2 batches of homemade
• 1 batch of white chocolate modeling chocolate. 
• red, yellow, black, brown, and blue food coloring (for SpongeBob)  pink, black, green, & purple food coloring (for Patrick)

Recipes for marshmallow fondant and modeling chocolate can be found on the Internet.  Just do a general google search.  I'll provide a few tips on using each below.

 

Step 1-Modeling Chocolate

 

Make the arms and legs out of modeling chocolate.  This can be done a week in advance.  Modeling chocolate is basically delicious EDIBLE moldable dough! Once you make it (which is EASY as long as you follow the directions) it's an idiot-proof and fun to work with!  The recipe I use comes from www.food.com and only has two ingredients.  The thing about this recipe is, first, it HAS to chill.  If you try to use it warm all the oil from the chocolate leaks out and you have a gritty mess of useless sweetness.  Second, once it's chilled it will be a freaking brick and you will think you've messed something up.  You haven't!!  All you need to do is break or chop it into small chunks and knead it like crazy!  My hands usually hurt something awful after making something out of modeling chocolate BUT it's all worth it in the end. 

 

 Also, using the white chocolate is crucial to getting the colors you want.  If you try to use regular food coloring in the milk or dark modeling chocolate,  you won't get nice colors AND it will do something called "seizing".  Seizing is were it turns hard and gritty and once again you have a horrible mess of useless sweetness. 

 

Basically, to make the arms, nose, and legs I tint roughly 1/4 of the modeling chocolate a bright yellow by kneading the food coloring into it.  (I use Wilton food coloring because it's easy to find locally.)  Then I take all four of the longer "limbs"  dowels and small chunks of the warm kneaded dough and cover the dowels with a thin layer of the modeling chocolate.  I've found that once I get the dowels covered all over that it helps to rub each dowel back and forth between my two palms to smooth and even it out. (Make sure you work on a smooth surface like a counter top and lube the surface and your hands liberally with shortening.)  Then I made 3 even balls with the remaining yellow dough.  I do all this by eye so if you don't have enough just mix up some more yellow dough.  REMEMBER THIS IS JUST GROWN-UP PLAY-DOH! HAVE FUN WITH IT!!!  Lay two of the three balls down, insert one dowel halfway into each ball, then smoosh them a little and just like you did when making cool stuff out of Play-Doh when you were a kid shape them into hand shapes.  I made mine with only 3 fingers and a thumb on each hand.  It's a cartoon after all so it doesn't matter!!! Once you have your hands VERY GENTLY scrape them off the counter and place them on a flat surface, lightly covered, in a cool area to re-harden.  For the legs I rolled some of the white modeling chocolate flat and cut it using a just a regular butter knife into a rectangle.  I very gently scraped it up and wrapped it over the two remaining yellow covered dowels to make socks.  I made over sized shoes from some of the remaining white modeling chocolate that was set aside earlier also.  For this I tinted two balls black.  I shaped both of them into rough kidney bean shapes and smooshed one side of the kidney flat to make the soles of the shoes.  Very gently I inserted the sock covered legs into the "shoes."  Set these aside also to harden.  For the nose, I took the remaining yellow ball and just like the first two, I covered the smallest remaining dowel.  I made mine thicker on one end o give the nose more definition.  Set the nose aside to harden.  Once, all of these parts are hard I placed them gently into an over sized Ziploc bag and put them on top of the refrigerator for safe keeping until the day of the party. 

 

Note: They are FRAGILE so handle gently when hardened unless you like to cry!!!

(I didn't make any up close photos of the hands, legs, and nose but hopefully you can get the idea from this side shot.)


Step 2-The Cake


Now there is two things you can do here. The first way is the simplest.  Basically, all you do is scrape the bigger details like the flowers and the borders off the cake.  This leaves you with a basic rectangle for SpongeBob's body.  (However, this will not leave you with cake for a Patrick smash cake if you wanted one.  But, you can still make Patrick from a cupcake or something like that from the store.)

OR you can make a more detailed SpongeBob, but you will have to do a little carving.  Nothing to worry about though! As long as you don't go crazy it's easy to accomplish.  Start by scraping all the icing off the pre-made cake if you bought one.  I scraped the colored roses into one bowl and all the white into another. (I'm anal)  Be careful when you get close to the actual cake part because you can take big hunks out of it if you get wild. (I get wild sometimes)  Once it's scraped it should look like this:

Now the carving!  I wanted to give SpongeBob some movement.  To do this I very gently, with a bread knife, cut a dip in the middle of SpongeBob.  Just like pictured below:

 

Next, I cut the waves (you can see the side view above) in SpongeBob.  I did this using half of a small biscuit cutter.  If you're good with a knife you could probably just cut the half rounds out yourself.  I did this all around the edges on the top and 3/4 of the way down his sides.  I left the bottom parts straight ( but for more effect tapered it with the bread knife) because this is where his clothes will go.  I also cut some pores into SpongeBob using a grapefruit spoon taking out random half circle chunks. I'm sure a regular spoon would work.  A large melon baller might work too.  For some reason the pores are not visible in the picture below but they are there:

 I don't have a picture of this part before I covered it with fondant but I took two of the half chunks I cut out with the biscuit cutter and about 1/3 of the way from the top put them back on the cake to raise the corners of SpongeBob's mouth.  After adding back the corners of the mouth, I re-iced the cake with the white icing I pulled off earlier (the picture above)

Step 3-Fondant the Cake

Take one half of the fondant and tint it yellow by kneading the color into it.  Make sure you have a well lubed (with shortening) counter top just like you did with the modeling chocolate.  Lube your rolling pin and roll the yellow fondant out making sure that it will cover the cake on all sides with extra hanging off.  Smooth the fondant down to the cake and gently push it into the "pores" so you can see the indentations, if you made them. Once you have it smoothed down and sticking to the icing very carefully cut off the excess around the base of the cake with a sharp knife. Pictured below:

 

Now is the fun part!  Decorating SpongeBob!  Here I really don't have a lot of tips.  For the sleeves, I rolled out white fondant and cut it into rectangles using a butter knife.  I used a little warm water, applied with my finger, as glue to get the fondant to stick to itself in a circle and to get it to stick to the cake.  Same thing with the pants legs using fondant I tinted brown.  I believe I used a shot glass to cut the irises on SpongeBob and another biscuit cutter I had to make the whites of his eyes.  His tie is 3 triangles I cut out with a knife and stuck together on the cake with more warm water on my fingertip.  Just have fun with it!  The great thing about fondant is most of the time if it doesn't look just right you can pull it off, knead it, and put it back on again! 

 

Don't put the legs, nose, or arms on until just before guests arrive to prevent accidental bumping and things like that

 

 

Step 4-Patrick Smash Cake

 

With the cake I had left over from carving, the icing I had left over from the roses, and just a little bit of leftover fondant I made Patrick.

 

Basically, I took the cake and broke it up into small bits and mixed it with the icing just like you would do to make cake pops.  I set all, but a tablespoonful, of the blob of icing and cake onto the dish I was going to serve it on and just shaped it into a generic star shape with my hands (just like Play-Doh) Once I had the star I heaped the remaining tablespoon into the center of the star and rounded it a bit  to make Patrick's belly.  I tinted some fondant pink, rolled it out, and covered the star being very careful not to put too much pressure on it when I smoothed the fondant down.  Cut carefully around the edges to neaten it up.  Wipe the excess off the plate with a damp paper towel.  Then I decorated just like I did with SpongeBob.  I used a small flower cookie cutter I found in the back of the spoon drawer to make the flowers on Patrick's shorts.  His tongue is a piece of red I had leftover from SpongeBob's tie that I rolled into a small kidney shape.  His eyebrows are just little 'snakes' just like we all made as kids.  And his eyes are teeny tiny balls of fondant I rolled between my fingers and smooshed flat.

 

 

I hope you enjoyed reading about my cake and I hope it helps you in making an awesome SpongeBob cake of your own!  If you have any questions or comments please feel free to leave them!  I will try to respond as quickly as I can to any questions you may have!  Enjoy!

 
 

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???~PTSD and child labor~???

I had another nightmare.  I woke up in a cold sweat, breathing hard, shaking and scrambled to my baby's crib to do the "Is he still breathing?!" breath check.  The nightmare wasn't about him...well not really...but anytime I have the slightest bad thought about anything I automatically make sure that he is still alright.  My nightmare was about being in labor again.  How stupid does that sound???

Let me start by saying that my child is a miracle to me.  I had wanted a child for YEARS and had given up hope!  About five years ago my doctor became alarmed by the fact that I hadn't been on birth control for ages and was not actively preventing pregnancy and hadn't gotten pregnant.  Long story short she found out I wasn't ovulating and informed me that if I wanted to have children I would most likely need medical assistance.  No matter how you cut it medical assistance costs money so I began to think I'd never have them.  Then when I had centered my life around never having kids and taken on a business that required you to be completely consumed by it I was blessed.  Funny how things work that way sometimes.

I used to have the nightmares pretty often right after he was born.  They have eased up some.  I haven't had one in a while until this one.   I thought that a nightmare was all they were until I started telling a friend about them.  She said, "Hun...It sounds like you have post traumatic stress."  She's no doctor and neither am I but after I did some reading online I really think she may be right.  I always thought PTSD was something that war veterans went through or people who were victims of horrendous crimes.  Not someone who just had a really shitty child labor!  I read about some women who had it SOOO much worse than I did!  Some who years later still have physical issues from it.  I don't have all that! But I had a pretty shitty labor too.

I went in to have my labor started for me 3 days before my son's due date.  The doctor said that my cervix was "bad".  If bad means not dialating then yeah, I guess it was being pretty naughty.  He also said my blood pressure was up.  Now, there are conflicting opinions on this issue involving blood pressure.  The doctor said I was fine. My best friend (not the same friend from above) is convinced I had pre-eclampsia.  I'm not really sure what to think about it but I'm leaning towards thinking she is right.  She thinks this for the following reasons: during my pregnancy I had some really bad headaches.  They were so bad that my vision would become fuzzy and I would see spots.  One headache was so bad I apparently started talking gibberish and couldn't remember my spouse's name. I don't remember much about this particular headache.  I only remember that it hurt.  My mom and my man were pretty freaked out by it.  If I hadn't fell asleep when I did... they were preparing to rush me to the emergency room.  (The doctor said it was hormones.) Also, my last month of pregnancy I gained 12 lbs in two weeks.  I'm pretty sure it was almost all water.  I remember those last couple weeks my skin felt like it was going to burst at any moment ALL the time.  I did everything I could to ease it. I obsessively put lotion on hoping it would ease the stretching feeling some.  I know swelling isn't out of the ordinary. But once my son arrived you could see that even HE was swollen.  He looked like a little baby sumo wrestler.  One week after birth he looked like a normal newborn.  Anyway, the doctor said my blood pressure was high and that was why we shouldn't wait for me to go on my own anymore and I needed to go to the hospital to force labor. We scheduled the hospital trip for several days later. 

When I got to the hospital everything went normally.  My blood pressure was fine according to the nurse there and we got the ball rolling.  That night I received a softener so to speak and a sleeping pill which was lovely because I hadn't slept that good in months and still haven't slept that good since!  In the morning they started my pitocin.  Everything was great until that evening.  By 5 pm I had reached 7 cm.  I didn't want to look like a whiny girl so I was trying real hard to tough out the pain until I was further along.  It was NOT in my plan to have an epidural free birthing experience.  I just didn't want to be what I considered a weenie and start crying for one too early.  (Karma WILL bite you in the ass for thinking other people should "tough it out a little more")  But by 7 cm I was starting to get pretty snappy with my family and decided it was time for that epidural!  When the anesthesiologist arrived he went to town and said I should feel relief.   Which I did...a little.  I told the nurses I was still feeling a lot of pain and after a bit longer the anesthesiologist was called again.  It took him a little longer this time and once he was done he told me he hoped I began to feel some relief.  He said my spinal column was "squishy" and he was afraid he might miss his target if he kept trying.  This epidural did give me relief!  Then my doctor came and told me that I had stopped progressing and had my water broken.  He gave me a little longer and said if I didn't start progressing again that a C-section would be necessary. I did NOT want a C-section whatsoever and automatically began wishing I had decided not to go in until labor started on it's own!  Maybe an hour later the doctor was back and informed me we couldn't wait any longer and that I was going to have that C-section.  I admit I was beyond terrified.  I had never had a major surgery before (Thank God!) 

I cried...The nurse who was attending me started to cry too.  Right before they took me off to surgery she hugged me and told me she wished I didn't have to have it too and just to think of the sweet little baby I would have soon.  I wish I remembered her name.  Her kindness and empathy meant a lot to me.

The C-section started out o.k. But somewhere along the lines of when they started cutting on me and when they began extracting my son the feeling to my lower half quickly returned.  It was AWFUL!!!  I've never felt pain like that in my life and I never want to feel pain that bad again!  A different anesthesiologist was caring for me during the surgery.  I looked at him as soon as I started to feel the pain and said "That hurts! I can feel that!"  He asked me if I was sure.....(seriously???) YES! I was sure!  I kept telling him it was hurting and he kept telling me to hold on for just another minute...just one more minute...He was so sorry but just to hold on just one more minute... After that things get fuzzy.  I remember they told me to look at my baby and i said he has a lot of hair.  Then they told me he was leaving and I told his father to go with him not to let him go alone and that was it...I woke up real late that night back in my room.  When I talked to the doctor next he told me it was good that we went ahead and did the C-section because my son's head was really wedged in there.  Once I finally got a look at my incision I found that it literally went from one hipbone to the other. No exaggerating.  The doctor told me I had lost a lot of blood and that he was going to do some tests but that I may have to get blood.  I didn't have the strength to stand up, couldn't walk, and was in a lot of pain. 

I'm allergic to hydrocodone (I can't breath when I take anything with hydrocodone in it)  I had never had to have much in the way of pain killers before and I just KNEW something else would work to ease the pain. So began a seemingly endless onslaught of drugs that I repeatedly was unable to tolerate.    In the end, I was only able to take a slightly higher dose of Ibuprofen than your average person would take for a headache.  I was in the hospital for only 6 days  (that was an upside because I wanted to be home so badly.)

 I also wound up receiving four units of blood.  The poor nurse who had been caring for me during most of my pain killer fiasco also cared for me while I received the blood.  I think she was extremely nervous about the blood I was receiving.  I got real hot and woozy twice during it and she would stop the blood and run to call the doctor.  He would make her come back and keep it going.  She said he felt my need for the blood was more immediate. Whatever that means. Getting the blood took an entire day. 

The breastfeeding specialist told me she thought it would be best if I let them bottle feed my son while I received the blood so that I could rest.  I didn't like the idea but relented because they are professionals and to my way of thinking they always know what's best.  I regret it sooooo much.  That one day caused me grief for the next 6 months!  Before I received the blood my son was nursing beautifully!  From the first feeding he and I worked together like we both had been doing it forever!  After that one day of bottle feeding in the nursery he wouldn't nurse me anymore.  I had no less than 8 different nurses try to help get him to latch on and all failed.  I even had the hospital specialist fail to get him to attach.  On the 6th day when I went home she told us to go to the store and buy some breast shields on our way home.  He nursed fine on the breast shield.  For the next 6 months I struggled to get him to give up the breast shield.  It wasn't anything horrible really.  Just an inconvenience that any new mother could do without.

  So anyway, that was my shitty child labor experience.  It was a far cry from what I expected it to be.  I had this stupid picture painted in my head of going to the hospital as late as possible, getting an epidural quickly, doing some heavy moaning and pushing and then holding my little miracle.  I would get to go home in 48 hours and besides some slight tummy ache and walking bow legged for a few days everything would be hunky-dory!  That was stupid of me.  I know better now.  I am whole and hale with no lasting problems and more importantly my little angel boy is as healthy and perfect as a child can be so I feel guilty about being such a tit about this.

  I really want more children one day.  I love being a Mom.  Being a Mom is the greatest feeling and job in the world.  It upsets me to think that this may be my only experience with it because I can't get over the birth!  I mean if I was told that in order to keep my son I would have to go through all that all over again I wouldn't even blink before jumping into it.  So why the nightmares????  It makes no sense to me. 

And what do I do to get past it?  Is it something that time will heal?  I have heard that women forget the pain of childbirth because if they didn't no one would have more than one.  Is this true?  Will I seriously forget it and get passed it?  I think I would feel loads better about it if I knew just ONE person that had an experience equally as crappy or even worse and then had their second birth be much better.  I think if I had just the HOPE that it would be easier the second time around I wouldn't be so troubled by the first one.  Or maybe this is just a higher powers way of telling me that I'm just not made for baby-making.  That thought depresses me beyond words.

So in the end all I really know is if I ever get hurt badly or some sort of painful illness I'm REALLY screwed because I will just have to suffer through it. And I really need to find a way to get passed this because the very idea of it being a real mental issue bothers the hell out of me.

Grammar Nazi's beware!! You have reached HELL!

Going back to school is going to be a NIGHTMARE!!  If you haven't noticed yet I'm horrible with grammar.  I can only say that most of the time my spelling will be should be correct.  As for punctuation well...you can try to fix me but I guarantee it will be fruitless.  If you don't like it go somewhere else because I really don't care.

So I never really went to college.  Well, not unless you count one college art class that was my mother's largely vain attempt to get her teenage daughter to do something with herself as going to college.  She hoped I'd like it and stick with it.  I don't count it but whatever...

If it wasn't for my son I can honestly say I would never have really tried going to college.  Since his birth everyday I look at him and wan't so badly to give him EVERYthing the world has to offer.   I never want him to need for anything.  Wanting things...well...I don't want him to be a brat either. But, as of right now I can't give him even little luxuries.  

With me not working there's moments we can just barely give him the things he needs.  It's a scary situation.  I could stick him in some form of government aided daycare and go back to work.  BUT  I've heard so many horror stories about daycares that I'd rather cut off my foot than take my miracle to one of those places.  I know that not all daycare is bad.  I went to daycare as a kid and other than being forced to eat nasty cold food and cheese puffs (I hate cheese puffs) my experience was completely uneventful. And I know that at some point I will have no choice but to go to work and he will have to stay at an afterschool daycare at the very least. (I'm cringing inside as I type.) Oh Geez!Stay calm!  I will just cross that bridge when we get there! Am I a freak? Probably. I wanted this little guy so SO badly! I think it's understandable that I would be an over protective weirdo over my one and only.

 My heart goes out to all the mother's out there who have to take their children to daycare because they have no choice. I can only imagine how hard it must be and I respect working mom's SO much.  My own Mom was a single mother with two children.  She worked and went to school full time. She struggled and worked hard and life is better for us. She is the best Mom that ever lived.  I wish I was and want to be just like her.  And so, I go to school.

They really could make it easier.  At least to get started!  Ive never done any of this before and I am CLUELESS...(Obviously)...I have this feeling of being a decapitated chicken in a virtual world. Look at this site, then this page, then click this link which takes you here, then back to this site again which leads you off in some other insane direction.  Three hours later you are just slightly better off than you were to begin with. I searched the schools website for help and found a checklist so that helped a teensy weensy bit.  I applied for my FAFSA months ago.  That's the ONLY thing I knew I had to to do.  It turns out that I never received my email stating that I had to go through a verification process and turn in a transcript from the IRS.  I'm learning all this only 8 days before I have to register for my classes.  UGH!  No one ever mentioned it to me during any of the testing I took. The counselors I spoke to about what classes to take and what steps I had made towards getting there never said anything.  I don't know what I thought either. That the magic grant fairy just poofed itself at my side the day my fees were due?  I will never claim to be a smart person I just hope not to be a complete idiot.  I don't think I'm doing to good on that at the moment.  I'm praying this won't keep me from enrolling for the next term.  Man would that suck!

A Start to Things

To be honest, I would much prefer to write my thoughts, interests, and opinions in a cute little private journal. A book that when I write down something completely stupid or crazy (and I inevitably will) I could just put that book aside or throw it away, start anew and NO ONE KNOWS.  There's something about putting it all out there on the internet just feels wrong.   Just to start there are so many freaky predators out in the vast emptiness that is the web!  You make just one off-hand comment about where you live and some weirdo takes a shine to you and who knows what could happen! 

But I decided to give this a try for 2 reasons. 1) I have always wondered what other people think of things.  If my way of thinking on this or that was completely insane,.  Not that it matters really but a bias-free opinion can shed SO much light on things sometimes.  2) My infant son takes his naps lying on me and it's just so much easier to type with one hand than it is  to hold open a book, hold down pages, AND write all at the same time.

I think this blog will be about the world revolving around ME (so basically a blog about my son) but who knows! It may end up being a blog dedicated to something totally random like  false eyelashes or something.  I may mess with this blog for three days and decided it's completely not for me!